Things That Won't Go Unsaid
by malectho
Summary: Killian has something he has to tell Emma and he can't wait another minute. One shot. Takes place immediately after season 4 finale. R&R


**Summary: Killian knows exactly where to find Emma after she sacrifices herself and becomes the dark one.**

 **A/N: This will probably be going against what will be canon. But it's what I want to happen. So put everything we already know in the back of your mind while reading this.**

Killian had been surprised when the Charmings chose to give the dagger to him, and he almost didn't accept it. Just holding it in his hand felt wrong. They shouldn't be in this position at all. He had never realized how right he was when he'd said there was always a crisis. It had literally only been hours since they'd defeated the author. He was such a fool to think anything would be different.

He ended up taking the dagger willingly, not because he wanted to, but because everyone insisted. They claimed that since Killian knew more about the dagger and its power than any of them, he was the obvious choice.

"Besides," Mary Margaret had said "We know you'd never use it to hurt her."

They were right. He'd spent most of his life trying to find a way to kill the Dark One, but now there had never been anyone he wanted to live more. That's because now it wasn't the man who killed the woman he loved, it was his true love. The girl he had literally _died_ for in order to ensure her happiness. It was ironic really, the whole situation, and Killian despised irony, because it usually brought pain.

After giving him the dagger Regina and Robin were the first to leave, hand in hand, both clinging to each other desperately. He didn't know if it was because they had almost lost Regina, or if it was because they had to watch him and Emma be separated and it reminded them of themselves.

David and Mary Margaret stuck around for a few more minutes before leaving. Mary Margaret was leaning against her husband for support, her hand gripping his jacket and his arm wrapped around her. Killian couldn't help but wonder if they were going to tell Henry what had happened, or if he should be there when they did, perhaps he should even go and see the boy now.

No, seeing him could wait. Killian had other things he had to do.

Hours had passed since Emma had disappeared to who knows where. She could be in a totally different realm for all he knew. However she could also still be in Storybrooke, and if that was the case he had to get to her as soon as possible.

Summoning her with the dagger wasn't an option because he didn't want to to control her. He knew what that felt like, from when Rumplestilskin had his heart, and he refused to put her through that. The only reason he'd ever use it, he decided quickly, was to protect her from herself. Like if the darkness ever completely overwhelmed her to the point where she was willing to take a life.

Killian would have to find her on his own. This in itself wasn't really a problem, since he knew where she would most likely go. The real issue was whether or not she would talk to him. She loved him, he knew that now, his stubborn lass had waited until the last possible second to tell him, and whenever Emma was in trouble she tended to distance herself from those she loved.

The walk to where he thought Emma was gave him time to think about her saying "I love you". It had been brutally obvious that she'd been trying to tell him earlier that day, after they'd all returned to Storybrooke, but instead she had just thanked him. He couldn't help but wonder if he had said it first, and she'd said it back, things would be different. Sure, Emma still would have sacrificed her, but maybe he wouldn't have this empty hole in his heart causing him the same pain he hadn't felt since Milah. The last thing she had said, just like Emma, was "I love you", and both times he didn't say it back. He had lost Milah, but he would not lose his swan. Never again would he lose someone to the Dark One.

When he got to the docks it was quiet, the moon and the stars didn't shine as bright as they usually did, as if they were hiding from what's to come. He made his way down to the other side of the harbor, where there were no docks, and very little boats. He could feel the cold metal of the dagger where he put it in his boot every step he took, it was a pale reminder of who he was about to face. Yet it didn't matter. All he wanted was to see her.

Sure enough, she was exactly where he thought she'd be. She sat with her feet dangling above the water, her whole body illuminated by the the street lamp.

"I find the horizon calming," Emma called out before he had even reached her. Of course she knew he was coming. He always found her, and would follow her anywhere, he should have suspected she would be waiting for him.

She didn't look at him when he sat down next to her, instead her body tensed up and she scooted farther away from him.

"You shouldn't be here," She whispered staring at her feet, or the water, anywhere other than him,

"You knew I'd find you," Killian told her and then reached out to grab her hand, but she yanked hers away.

"That's why I stayed. To tell you to not come near me until you find a way to get this darkness out," She said, her voice cracking, as if just saying it was painful.

"I'm not going to do that, love," Killian insisted, and then added "And neither is your family, or every other member of Storybrooke who's life you saved."

Emma's eyes widened and in an instant she started to panic. "No, no, no, Killian," She begged and her eyes began to well up with tears. "You have to make them stay away, tell them to stay. I'm a danger to be around even now-"

Killian leaned over and kissed her, slowly at first, but then he tangled his hand in her long hair that he loved so much, and guided her closer to him. She moved her hands so they were cupping his face, but only for a second, before she pushed him away.

"God Killian weren't you listening," She breathed when their lips parted.

"I love you too, Swan," Was all he said and he pressed his forehead to hers so they were looking into eachother's eyes. He used his good hand away to wipe away the tears leaving her eyes. "I know you're scared, but you haven't gone dark yet. The only reason you're called the Dark One right now is because of some stupid dagger with your name on it. When he was on my ship, Baelfire told me his father didn't go completely dark right away. It was gradual. Besides I trust you Emma, plus you're strong, and you will fight this. Despite what you may think, I know there is still some savior blood running through your veins."

"How can you be so sure," Emma questioned, finally loosening up and laying her head against his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. She trusted herself a little more, she knew that even though she could hear its steady beat, didn't mean she would rip his heart out of his chest.

"Because I know you Swan," He explained. "You haven't changed. And even if you do the real will still be there, it will just be buried a bit. And as a former pirate you know I'm an expert at digging for things that have been buried, especially when they're as valuable as you.

This made Emma laugh and she snuggled even closer to him, and for a few minutes they just sat there like that. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore, he took two fingers and tilted her chin so that he could see her face, and he smiled before leaning into kiss her sweetly. Emma reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, being careful not to break the kiss, because this time she didn't want to, she never wanted to.

Killian didn't know whether or not it was his imagination or not, but the moon and stars seemed to get a little brighter.


End file.
